How To Disassociate Yourself From Depression by Adam Khoo

Do you know someone who is always depressed? They may have had bad experiences a long time ago, but they still get upset by these long past incidents?

I had a woman client who told me that her life was full of misery.
When she talked about her bad experiences, she started crying and
got very upset. I found out that she had a pattern of associating
into all her painful memories. So, even though these incidents took
place about five years ago, she still felt extremely miserable
whenever she thought about them.

When I asked her to relate happy experiences in her life, she
thought for a while but couldn't feel anything. She said, 'I don't
feel for these (happy) experiences anymore.' Guess why? She had a
pattern of disassociating from all her happy experiences, and
associating into her negative ones!

No wonder she felt depressed constantly. When I taught her that she
could consciously direct her mind to disassociate from all her bad
experiences and associate into all her happy experiences, she began
to take control over her emotions. The change was quite rapid.

When she thought of her bad experiences and disassociated, she
started to feel the emotional intensity of the pain drop. Then I
got her to start thinking of all her happy experiences and
associating into them! Her face started glowing and she said she
felt a lot better about herself. Since then, she has consciously
been taking charge of the way her brain codes her experiences.

Do you know people who are the complete opposite? We call them the
happy-go-lucky ones. Such people could have had some horrific
experiences but they get over the bad patches very fast. Soon they
are into a positive state and have moved on in life.

At the same time these cheery people can think back to the good
things that happened to them, say five years ago, and feel happy
and excited, all over again.

Why do they feel so differently about their good and bad
experiences from the negative bunch? Again, it is because of the
way the cheery people's brains have coded their memories. They tend
to immediately disassociate from negative events they experience.
Although they learn from their mistakes, they don't feel
emotionally drained thinking about it.

At the same time, they tend to associate or plug into all their
happy positive experiences. So they keep feeling the positive vibes
of happy events, even after years have passed.

This is one of the most important qualities to have in order to be
a successful entrepreneur, chief executive, politician, investor or
salesperson.

And it's something you can use right now to supercharge yourself
towards success and achieving your goals!

How The Success You Achieve In Life Is Affected By Your Beliefs

Achieving success should be easy after all you've probably heard a hundred times if not more that people have infinite potential. Yet all around you are people are not living up to their potential and not achieving the level of success they desire in life


Take the example of what happens when people buy courses, attend seminars and buy even more courses. Very often they do nothing with the material they purchased. Sometimes the packages don't even get opened.

Now they had every good intention to put the material to use. When they bought the program or course they were sold on the idea of how they could achieve success and transform their life. So what happened?
What happened is that they lost their belief that they could successfully make the program work for them. They decided to settle for what they had in life instead of going after what they could achieve.

You see their core belief was not congruent with the belief they could be successful. Your core beliefs are programmed into your sub-conscious mind and therefore dictate the actions that you take. And the actions you take will determine the results you achieve.

So, if a person fundamentally does not believe that by working through the program they can achieve the results they desire they simply will not take action. And, if they do, they'll self-sabotage their efforts so that things remain just the way they were - well almost.

You see you're either growing or dying. And, the only way you can grown mentally, spiritually and emotionally is for you to strive towards your goals. Continually self-sabotaging your goals by either taking minimal action on a project or starting a project and then stopping before completing it is utterly soul-destroying.

Fundamentally, the potential that we're able to liberate is dependent upon our beliefs because our beliefs drive the actions that we take which affect the results that we achieve.

Now there is a minority of individuals who actually follow through when they buy course and or attend training programmes. And these individuals provided they complete whatever program they've chosen to take action on, achieve results and often staggering results. So what the difference between those who follow through and those who don't?

"We're more afraid of what life would be like if we didn't follow through than the person who is willing to settle for what they've got and kind of hope it will change and purchase something for the moment and not follow through with it."-Tony Robbins

Another factor that influences whether or not a person takes action or not is their level of desperation. Many times, when a person does take action and follow through, they've hit rock bottom. They're in a position where they'd do almost anything to climb out of the pit they're in.

Often, it's a case that whatever it is they're doing just has to work because the consequences of it not are just too awful to contemplate so failure is not an option. And therein lies what Tony Robbins describes as the holy grail between someone taking action or not - certainty.

"When you're absolutely certain that if I do this it's going to get that result and that result is going to change my life - you'll do it. When you think it absolutely won't work you're never going to do it. The middle no man's land of maybe it'll work, maybe it won't - that's the piece that kills people."Tony Robbins

So the question is how do you create certainty when the world isn't giving it to you? If you've got a negative balance on your bank account, you're receiving final demands in the mail and you're struggling to keep the roof over your head how do you create certainty?

The answer goes back to your belief systems.

"You have to believe it in your mind and then you'll take the necessary action to create the results that you desire."Tony Robbins

And you not only have to believe it you have to clearly see your end result. As Mark Victor Hansen said,

"When you can see the invisible, you can do the impossible now."

So, when your beliefs are such that you can clearly see your goal and can hold this vision fixed in your mind you'll take the action steps necessary to achieve the results you desire and your latent potential will shine

Learning from Experience By Brain Tracy

The Sufi philosopher, Izhrat Khan once said that, “Life is an endless series of problems, like the waves from the ocean.

This is a good description of your life, as well. From the time you are young, throughout your life, you will have an endless string of problems, of all kinds. You will have personal problems, financial problems, relationship problems, health problems, business problems, career problems, and who knows what else. They never end.

The only interruption to this endless series of problems will be the occasional crisis. If you’re living a normal life in our fast-moving society, you will probably have a crisis of some kind every two or three months. By its very definition, a crisis comes “unbidden.”

This means that a crisis is a large, sudden reversal or setback that you did not or could not anticipate or guard against.

Peter Drucker says that the mark of the leader is the way that “He or she deals with the inevitable crisis.”

What this means is that you are either in a crisis right now, you have just gotten out of a crisis, or you are just about to have a crisis. In any case, the only thing that will matter will be how effectively you deal with the crisis.

Average people, weak people, respond to problems and crises ineffectively. They become angry or depressed. They lash out or sulk. They blame other people or make excuses. As a result, their problems and crises often grow and become overwhelming.

Strong people, leaders, deal with problems and crisis in an effective and competent manner. There are two ways that you can learn to surmount the inevitable difficulties of life and become a leader in whatever you do.

First, focus on the solution rather than the problem. Focus on the positive, constructive actions that you can take immediately to solve the problem or to minimize the crisis. Don’t waste a moment making excuses, criticing, complaining or blaming other people. This simply distracts you, weakens you and dissipates your energy. It makes you less effective and more likely to make mistakes.

Be absolutely clear about what has happened. What steps can be taken to resolve the difficulty? What actions can you take immediately to take control of the situation?

The second key to dealing with any problem or crisis is for you to “Seek the valuable lesson.” Napoleon Hill is famous for saying, “Within any problem or setback there lies the seed of an equal or greater opportunity or benefit.”

Your job is to look into every setback or difficulty for the lesson that it might contain. Imagine that there was a great power in the universe that wants to help you to be more successful and happy in the future. But this great power knows that you have a perverse nature, and you will not learn unless it hurts.

Therefore, whenever you suffer a pain of any kind – emotional, financial, health, personal – you should assume that this great power is trying to teach you a lesson that will help you in the future. Your job is to accurately identify the lesson or lessons so that you can learn them once and for all.

Once you begin to seek the lesson, answers will come to you quickly and easily. Don’t be satisfied with quick answers. Instead, ask the question, “What else is the answer?”

Beware of any problem for which there is only one definition, and beware of any problem for which there is one solution or lesson.

It is said that “Great souls learn great lessons from small events.”

Sometimes, if the problem is complex enough or has lasted for a long time, you can sit down with a pad of paper and ask this question, “What are all the lessons I have learned from this situation?”

You will be amazed to find that you may have learned five or ten or even twenty lessons from a difficult situation. Once you have identified these lessons and learned them, the chances of you making the same mistake are greatly reduced.

When you have a problem and you take control of it in your mind, you become a stronger and better person. The next time you face a problem or crises, focus quickly on the solution, on the specific actions that you can take immediately to resolve it.

Then, ask yourself, “Why is this happening?” What is the lesson that this problem contains for you?

It is said that wisdom is the ability to make good decisions, but that wisdom actually comes from having made bad decisions earlier.

There is nothing wrong with making decisions. The only thing that is unforgivable is our failure to learn from each situation so that we grow more surely toward the stars.

Leading a Class Life

Every four years the world is given the gift of the Olympics. For a few weeks nations lay down their arms and come together to let their world class athletes compete on a level playing field to see who the best is in the many events. Such amazing athleticism was on display the past few weeks. It boggles the mind what these young men and women can accomplish with their bodies. Great feats of skill and determination bring them to the pinnacle of athletic achievement. Incredible.

As I think about what it takes to become a world class athlete capable of competing at the Olympic level, I realize that there are some foundational lessons for all of us to learn as it relates to becoming world class in whatever we set our hands to.

The secret of how these athletes became world class is found in the combination of two fundamental ideas: Desire and dedication.

A 22 year old man doesn't simply wake up one day and find that he is on the Olympic basketball team. No, it started years before. In fact, it probably started when he was only six or seven years old. Maybe his father took him to a basketball game and that little boy said, "Someday daddy, I am going to be a basketball player." That was the first sign of desire. Desire is key. World class people start with desire. They have to at some point "want it".

But we all know people who dream of big things but never accomplish those dreams, don't we? Why is that? After all, they have desire. They want it. But the engine that drives the dream is dedication. Desire tells you what you want, while dedication is what will get it for you.

Someone may see a young gymnast and say, "Wow, that looks easy." What they don't see or perhaps overlook is the years of practice. The years of getting up at 4:30 every morning and going to the gym before going to school. It is the dedication of the young athlete, the many times of failing in practice, the many times of falling off the equipment and faithfully getting back on that turns a wisher into a world class doer.

A person with desire but no dedication will never achieve much. You must have the powerful combination of both.

So let's take a closer look at each of these and gain some insight into what desire and dedication are all about.

Desire. There are three parts to desire:
. Dreaming
. The Vision
. Focus

First, is dreaming. Have you let yourself dream lately? Just sit down and begin to imagine all of the incredible possibilities your life could become? Spend some time just dreaming.

Next is the vision. Once you dream, you begin to cut back on all of the possibilities and narrow it to what possibility it is that you really want. You begin to create a vision for your life. You begin to see it as you want it.

Lastly under desire is focus. Once you have the vision, you have to really focus in on that dream. This is where you get really specific about what your life is going to look like.

Now for dedication. There are also three parts:
 The Plan
 Beginning
 Perseverance

First is the plan. Without a plan you will drift to and fro. You will certainly notcarryout your dream if you do not have a plan. So write it down. Set your goals. Know what you want and how you are going to get there.

Second is the beginning. This may sound simple and yet it is simply profound. Many people have a dream and they even have a plan, but they never begin. So simple: Just start. The first step on the long journey is still just one step. If you have a dream and a plan, take a step in the right direction.

Lastly is to persevere. Every road to every dream has a section or sections that is hard to travel. Every great dream will encounter difficulty. The question isn't whether or not you will encounter trouble, but how you will respond to trouble. Will you quit when the going gets tough or will you persevere? I have found that every successful person I know, myself included, has encountered problems along the way that tempted them to quit. Yet they persevered and achieved their dream.

Let's take a look at the progression. As you do, think about where you are in the progression of becoming a world class dream pursuer.

1. Dream
2. Create a vision
3. Focus the vision
4. Develop a plan
5. Begin to pursue the dream
6. Persevere

Friends, I hope for you the fulfillment of every dream that you have. That is what life is about isn't it? But to do so, I know that you will have to combine your desire with good old dedication. And when you combine those two, you will be well on your way to leading a world class life!

The webcheck - www.ted.com

TED (short for Technology, Entertainment, Design) is a U.S. private non-profit foundation that is best known for its conferences, now held in Europe and Asia as well as the U.S., devoted to what it calls "ideas worth spreading". Its lectures or TED Talks, widely disseminated on the internet, are not subject to a time limit.

TED was founded in 1984; the first conference happened in 1990. TED's early emphasis, consistent with a Silicon Valley center of gravity, was largely technology and design. Its co-founder was Richard Saul Wurman, credited with having coined in 1976 the term information architect. As popularity of the talks has spread, so has the range of subject matter, to cover almost all aspects of science and culture. Those who have given TED talks include Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Gordon Brown, Richard Dawkins, Bill Gates, the founders of Google, the evangelist Billy Graham and various Nobel Prize winners.

TED's curator is the British former computer journalist and magazine publisher Chris Anderson. It is owned by the Sapling Foundation.

From 2005 to 2009, three $100,000 TED Prizes were awarded annually to help its winners realise a chosen "wish to change the world". Starting in 2010, however, only one winner has been selected to ensure that TED can maximize its efforts of achieving the winner's wish. Each winner unveils their wish at the main annual conference – within the specified 18 minutes.

  Check this site to have a new ideas http://www.ted.com/

Three Skills to Improve Conversation

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation.

When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, "How do you mean, exactly?"

This is the most powerful question I’ve ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, "How do you mean?" the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.

Paraphrase the Speaker’s Words

The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker’s words in your own words. After you’ve nodded and smiled, you can then say, "Let me see if I’ve got this right. What you’re saying is . . ."
Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker’s words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence.

Listening Builds Trust

The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.

Being a great listener will enable you to Communicate With Power.

Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person?s words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions. The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, "How do you mean?" in response to anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.

Using-stumbling-blocks-as-stepping-stones by Brain Tracy

Everyone makes mistakes and the busier you are, the more mistakes you will make.

The only question is "How well and how effectively do you deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life?"

In this newsletter, you learn the difference between a positive and negative worldview. You learn how to benefit from your mistakes and how to remain positive in the face of adversity.

Let the Light Shine In

This is achieved through the simple exercise of self-disclosure. For you to truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may have happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You have to be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won’t make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.

Using Stumbling Blocks as Stepping Stones

There are two ways to look at the world: the benevolent way or the malevolent way. People with a malevolent or negative worldview take a victim stance, seeing life as a continuous succession of problems and a process of unfairness and oppression. They don’t expect a lot and they don’t get much. When things go wrong, they shrug their shoulders and passively accept that this is the way life is and there isn’t anything they can do to make it better.

On the other hand, people with a benevolent or positive worldview see the world around them as filled with opportunities and possibilities. They believe that everything happens as part of a great process designed to make them successful and happy. They approach their lives, their work, and their relationships with optimism, cheerfulness, and a general attitude of positive expectations. They expect a lot and they are seldom disappointed.

Flex Your Mental Muscles
When you develop the skill of learning from your mistakes, you become the kind of person who welcomes obstacles and setbacks as opportunities to flex your mental muscles and move ahead. You look at problems as rungs on the ladder of success that you grab onto as you pull your way higher.

Two of the most common ways to deal with mistakes are invariably fatal to high achievement. The first common but misguided way to handle a mistake is the failure to accept it when it occurs. According to statistics, 70 percent of all decisions we make will be wrong. That’s an average. This means that some people will fail more than 70 percent of the time, and some people will fail less. It is hard to believe that most of the decisions we make could turn out to be wrong in some way. In fact, if this is the case, how can our society continue to function at all?

Cut Your Losses
The fact is that our society, our families, our companies, and our relationships continue to survive and thrive because intelligent people tend to cut their losses and minimize their mistakes. It is only when people refuse to accept that they have made a bad choice or decision-and prolong the consequences by sticking to that bad choice or decision-that mistakes become extremely expensive and hurtful.

Learn From Your Mistakes
The second common approach that people take with regard to their mistakes, one that hurts innumerable lives and careers, is the failure to use your mistakes to better yourself and to improve the quality of your mind and your thinking.

Learning from your mistakes is an essential skill that enables you to develop the resilience to be a master of change rather than a victim of change. The person who recognizes that he has made a mistake and changes direction the fastest is the one who will win in an age of increasing information, technology and competition.

By remaining fast on your feet, you will be able to out-play and out-position your competition. You will become a creator of circumstances rather than a creature of circumstances.

Action Exercises

Now, here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, imagine that your biggest problem or challenge in life has been sent to you at this moment to help you, to teach you something valuable. What could it be?

Second, be willing to cut your losses and walk away if you have made a mistake or a bad choice. Accept that you are not perfect, you can’t be right all the time, and then get on with your life.

Third, learn from every mistake you make. Write down every lesson it contains. Use your mistakes in the present as stepping stones to great success in the future.